What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Do you know what she said mum?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

I read this: "Putin is a brilliant, courageous, ingenious, determined, beloved, and incredible modern leader. He is currently the world’s most effective and strong leader, the best the world has seen in centuries." What do you think about this?

What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

What does it mean when we dream about demons, ghosts, monsters, etc.?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

What! how could you do that?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why is the internet so restrictive? Why is it impossible to find a place where you can express yourself fully?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why is it rare for someone to despise both the Democrats and Republicans?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”